[Note: I originally wrote this on New Year’s Day 2022, though worried I might be getting a little personal here, so hesitated a little too long to publish. Nevertheless, might as well just do it…]
[Update, 21/02/2022: I’ve make some minor tweaks/edits since yesterday, to edit mistakes or to make the article read better. Please be aware this post was originally pretty stream-of-consciousness and the spelling or grammar may not be perfect.]
I will, of course, begin by wishing my readers (whoever is out there, hi!) a Happy New Year, even if, by the time this post is complete, it might be a day or two late. [Addendum: Try a couple of months late…]
It probably hasn’t escaped the notice of anyone who has actually bothered to peruse my blog archives on those rare occasions such a thing actually happens, or anyone who has seen my near constant attempts to take the “pee” out of myself, but I don’t write very frequently. What’s the point, it sometimes seems, of having a blog one rarely posts in?
Of course, it might, on the surface, make some sense if I had anything particular going on in my life to justify that, or any particular responsibilities to justify that, but really, I don’t. At the same time, there are justifiable reasons for this. In part, as I’m not always the world’s greatest or (in all situations) most confident communicator, except for those times where I seem to get into stupid arguments and/or stick my foot in it somehow. Being on the autistic spectrum, this is far from easy, as relating to supposedly “normal” people on the same wavelength as they are, and actually have myself be understood, isn’t always easy. Do I say this, or will it offend someone? Will they understand what I’m getting at? Will they be bored to tears? Can anyone understand my sometimes long-winded and convoluted style of writing? All these things I sometimes feel is true of me when I actually try interacting with other people on any more than a superficial level. And (yet?) once upon a time, I did have a bit of a history of getting into stupid arguments online. These never and well for anyone it seems. More so when you have views that might be at odds with many people, and you have difficulty fully explaining them.
So, to actually write a full blog article, get it finished, publish and hopefully not be damned, and then know I’ll come back to it in years to come and find a dozen typos, unfinished paragraphs (this happened once!) and worse, can actually be a pretty daunting prospect. Same goes for much else in my life, even though in all those cases it would be easy to do what I used to do: put it down to simple laziness. Which perhaps, it sometimes is. It’s always easier to get sidetracked by something more interesting, or less mentally and/or physically demanding, or just get lost in one’s own thoughts. But even there, habits once formed are not easily overcome.
As regards 2021, the less said the better. As you will see from my previous post, the last two years, especially in terms of what is going on in the world, are hard enough for most people to have to deal with. Perhaps I am relatively sheltered from the worst of it (should I thank whatever Gods are out there?) but trying to blog about it is still a major headache. Why some people react the way they do, in the face of events (be it coronavirus, racial issues, climate change or politics in general or anything of the other million and one things which come up from time to time) is ultimately beyond my ken. I can’t think like these people, I don’t know their circumstances, I’m no expert on some issues, so somehow it seems whatever my thoughts are on them are not worth sharing and would seem too much.
At the same time, I have had a post in the works exploring an idea I had which might seem pertinent to both the coronavirus situation and that of climate change, given last year’s hype over the UK hosting of the COP26 climate conference, which I might eventually finish and publish, though I might have to rewrite the whole thing. The original idea was that many of us, at least those of us who comprise the more comfortably off in the Western world of all but the oldest generations, have less and less had to put up with major threats or worse still, anything that would constitute an existential crisis. As such, we simply aren’t prepared for to happen and this shapes our responses. I did add in an observation I’ve hard before, that we are more evolved to deal with short term threats to our lives (for example predators, potential enemies, the immediate challenge of finding food etc.) But of course, that gets complcated by things. What about people who live in places where extreme weather events, seismic activity happens? Which obviously is not the UK, but in certain parts of, say, the United States, this is true. And what about the 2008 financial crisis? Not existential, but it certainly affected a lot of people’s livelihoods and how the economy fundamentally operates, as well as, quite probably, being partially responsible for all the divisions, mistrust and sometimes extremism in politics. So, does my idea have any merit to warrant a full post? Watch this space.
There are certain topics, though, which seem too thorny to touch, including anything to do with anti-racism (thinking particularly about George Floyd and BLM), identity politics or culture wars in general, or anything to do with revolutionary politics. Moreover, I don’t think I can be sure enough to make my mind up about some of these issues. I might want to touch on the nature of things like free speech, religious tolerance etc. in a more general sense though as opposed to in reaction to specific events, as these seem relevant enough to anyone including me. On that score, there is also the very personal matter of why, coming up to nearly 7 years ago now (how time flies!) I ended up leaving Christianity behind, which I think needs going into, somehow.
But at the same time, this was mostly meant, as I recall, to be a blog about my random thoughts on the world, not just covering the news and hot-button topics like it often ends up being, plus more filler posts like this one when I can’t think of anything to write. A couple I have been working on, on and off, are about those strange and sometimes annoying words, phrases and sayings that people use from time to time. Some of my views on these might get a little controversial, mind, so I don’t know what to include. As I said before, I worry about offending people given I have had a tendency to do it at times in the past. So I’m somewhat wary of doing it now.
Of course there is also my other blog, Tales of Lyniezia, which is meant to showcase my dabblings in creative writing. There as much as anything I have some difficulty with wanting to get many of these stories finished, even if I have a rough mental outline of how I want them to go. I’m not even sure what it is sometimes, either lack of confidence or I just give up too easily. Even if I just prefer the random stream-of-consciousness, don’t-take-this remotely-seriously travesty/farce sort of thing (like Insanity Claus, Princess Lucidity to the Rescue and the like to the somewhat more serious ones like, say, Grangefield Park or the still as yet unfinished A Not-So-Brief Encounter) I find it hard to really finish them. Even if I do, I suppose most of these will be for fun than ever meant as the basis for commercial publication. That seems to be a very difficult gig to get into and make anything out of even for those whose capability for work is much greater than mine. Who knows what the future holds, though. So hopefully, expect at least some of these stories maybe to get finished sometime over the course of this year. I don’t know what other ideas I have in store, yet.
Nevertheless, I think if I have to make any “New Year’s Resolution”, it will have to be to try and focus and overcome my fears, habits and excuses which prevent me from doing this blog and a lot else in life. It won’t be easy, but, I suppose, what is?
Another possible New Year’s Resolution pertinent to this blog is reading. In order to talk about any remotely serious topics, I think reading around the issues in order to gain a better understanding of things is always a good idea, especially since I have been accused on occasion of not understanding what I am talking about with certain issues. And in terms of fiction writing, reading other fiction (and factual works, too) to gain inspiration and perhaps pointers on how to write a good story is needful.
There are, of course, many more, but they probably aren’t relevant to this blog, and I would rather keep a few things still private!
Anyway, watch this space over the New Year. Hopefully, more posts will be on their way soon!